Lonely or Alone?

Loneliness or Loner…

There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. This is one of the topics that frequently pop in introduction to psychology classes. The discussion tends to focus on the potential health hazards concerning feelings of loneliness and depression, but seldom is there any discussion about being alone and and/or being a loner. I always felt that some discussion concerning what it meant to be a loner and if it is acceptable to desire to be alone would be beneficail to the overall topic. These questions, and many more, are addressed in Party of One The Loner’s Manifesto by Anneli Rufus. The book is a little over two decades old but much of its content is as relevant today as it was when published.

Rufus’ book, as the title suggests, sets out to provide insight and assistance in living life as a loner. The book addresses several aspects of life from childhood and community to friendship and religion and how each aspect relates to the life of a loner. Rufus also discusses how popular culture such as film, literature, and even clothes play a role in how the world views loners and how loners view themselves. These topics, along with several others, are well researched (as stated the book is over twenty years old so some data may be dated but the concepts are still sound) and is presented in an easy to follow format.

I read Rufus’ book around the 2005 and it has remained on my shelf ever since. I moved four times in the last twenty some years and it always made the move with me. It has margin notes from at least five pens so I’ve revisted the text more than once since the original reading (the latest being a few months ago). Before I read Party of One The Loner’s Manifesto I didn’t have a solid understanding of what it meant to be a loner, let alone how a loner could get by in a world that imposes social interaction and forced community. Although I don’t agree with all of Rufus’ assertions I’ve found the book informative and helpful over the years. If you, like me, felt those alone vs. lonely conversations in intodcution to psychology classes were a bit incomplete then I suggest Party of One The Loner’s Manifesto.