“When You Don’t Know If ‘You Were Perfectly Fine'”

Dorothy Parker on Drinking, Desire, and Lost Nights

Drinking a little too much alcohol at one time has been known to induce amnesia in those who imbibe. Those of us who have been known to drink a bit too much on occasion can attest to this. Those of you who haven’t made this mistake please trust those of us who have. If you don’t want to trust us then I suggest reading “You Were Perfectly Fine” by Dorothy Parker. This short story presents the danger of a little too much drink (without the soapbox condescension).

Parker’s story is primarily a dialogue between Peter, a “pale young man” and an unnamed “clear-eyed girl” the morning after a night of drinkng with friends. She helps him piece together the events of the previous evening and assures him that his drunken behavior was not that bad and that, in fact, he was “perfectly fine” throughout most of the evening. The key event of the stoy worth noting is when she tells the man that he revealed romantic feelings for her, and that she has similar feelings for him. The man’s reaction to this turn (as shown in the last sentence) can be viewed as a warning to monitor both the amount of alcohol you drink and what you say when drinking.

“Dorothy Parker and Hamm’s”

If you take the dialogue between the woman and Peter at face value it is a humorous tale of a little too much alcohol being the root cause of some foolish actions and brash statements. But there are a few points that are worth a closer analysis. These points don’t necessarily change the outcome of the story, but they do provide a different view concerning the motivation of the female character. Peter relies on this female companion to remind him of the events and his actions of the previous night. An argument can be made that the female is making light of Peter’s actions because she has feelings for him and doesn’t want Peter to feel bad. Another interpretation could argue that she is deftly manipulating Peter. The story begins at about four in the afternoon when Peter finally gets out of bed with quite a hangover. The female character doesn’t seem to be suffering any ill effects of the previous evening. She obviously has not had as much to drink as Peter (or maybe holds her drink better), and is better prepared to discuss the previous night than Peter. Another point worth considereing concerns the title of the story. Throughout the course of their conversation she tells Peter, “You were perfectly fine,” on two occasions along with two more variations of this statement. Minimizing Peter’s actions can be viewed as something other than making apologies for a romantic interest. These statements can be seen as a means to convince Peter that his actions were acceptable, and by extension so is his supposed admission of feelings for the female character. The final point for analysis is Peter’s romantic declaration. According to the female Peter’s actions throughout the night had a collection of witnesses, yet their conversation was private. If Peter has a history of blacking out while drinking, which seems to be the case, the female could easily manipulate Peter into thinking he said something he did not. The fact that she suggests they keep their romantic exchange a secret may not be proof of manipulation but does give one a reason to question her motivation.

If alcohol has ever put you in a situation were you felt like a third person character in your first person life then “You Were perfectly Fine” will feel familiar. If alcohol hasn’t struck you with a bit of amnesia this is an interesting a study of character motivation. Parker’s ability to create characters who conceal more than they reveal is just one of many reasons why her work should be on your shelf.

-K-

“Desire, Jealousy, Love”

The End of Things

What is your relationship success rate? If you’ve experienced the end of a relationship (one that wasn’t ended by you), then Suicide Blonde and The End of the Affair may cover some familiar ground. If you’ve never been in a relationship that ended poorly, then these books can give you insight into the lives of the rest of us. The narrators of these books offer views of the end of their relationships (don’t consider that a spoiler if you haven’t paid attention to the titles of the books

These books, written 40 years apart, address desire, jealousy, love, and how all three overlap in a relationship. From the first to the last sentences (the first and last sentences of both books are quite memorable) we are privy to the relationship woes of Jesse from Suicide Blonde and Bendrix from The End of the Affair. Darcy Steinke and Graham Greene draw us in with believable characters we may not always like but can definitely empathize with.

Not every relationship has a happy ending. Suicide Blonde and The End of the Affair are stories of two such such endings. Steinke and Greene show us some relationships are tragic, but tragedy is part of life, as are relationships.

-K-

“Kevin Smith’s Relationship Advice”

Chasing Amy as Romance for Realists

This post isn’t about Clerks. Someday there will be a post about Kevin Smith’s Clerks but today is not that day, but if I didn’t watch Clerks then I probably wouldn’t have sought out Chasing Amy. February is drawing to a close next week so now is the time to have a brief discussion about Chasing Amy, the first ‘relationship’ movie I saw that I could really identify with (although there is some interesting relationship advice in Clerks worth discussing at a later date). Some elements of Smith’s 1997 movie may be a bit dated but the core message of the movie holds true today and is worth a viewing.

Chasing Amy

Much like Clerks which has the ability to speak to those of us who have worked in retail Chasing Amy speaks to those of us who have been in complicated relationships (the word complicated is a bit cliché but using a word like problematic is putting a dime word in a penny sentence). You don’t need to be in the same romantic relationship as Ben Affleck’s Holden McNeil to empathize with his situation. If you have ever allowed friends, or those who call themselves friends, to guide your relationship decisions then you can relate to Chasing Amy. If you have ever allowed preconceived notions and feelings of inadequacy whisper in your ear then you can relate to Chasing Amy. If you never allowed these things to sway your relationship decisions then this movie can give you an idea of how the rest of us muddle through our love lives.

Chasing Amy is a realistic portrayal of two people trying to work through their issues and develop a meaningful relationship. It is a movie that speaks to any of us who have struggled with similar issues. The movie may have some 90s vibes in it but Smith’s story is still relevant and worth a view.

-K-

“Kmart, Ghosts, and Going Home Again”

How a Story About Baseball Connects All Three

“Big Kmart”

Somebody, somewhere, sometime said, “You can never can go home again.” I thought of that cliché when I came across the photo “Scott Street #2” when I was organizing some photos a while back. It is a photograph of an apartment I lived in many years ago. The building is long gone. A strip mall stands in its place. That photo and that cliché got me thinking about idea of home and what it means. Is home a physical place or an emotional state of mind? Can we go back home? Would we want to if we could? As I got to thinking about these questions my mind drifted to Kmart. What? Kmart you ask? Why Kmart? Hell, I got to thinking the same thing.

“Scott Street #2”

Kmart was a common shopping destination during my formative years (which was quite a while ago). Before Wal-Mart, Target, or Meijer I made many a trip to Kmart either with my Moms or by myself. I could bore you with a long list of purchases (from my second G.I. Joe action figure, Snake Eyes, to a tie for my first part time job) and memories (the joy of buying my parents birthday gifts or the thrill of looking at prints from my first roll of Kodak 110 film developed at the photo counter) but that’s not the point. Let’s just say seeing Kmart stores being replaced by other store fronts or being demolished rubs some of my sentimental nerves pretty raw.

Yet, those sentimental memories of shopping trips long past couldn’t have been the only reason Kmart came to mind when I got to thinking about the idea of home. I kept wondering why this photograph of an old apartment building got me thinking about Kmart? I found the answer tucked away on one of my bookshelves. “K Mart” is the title of a short story from W.P. Kinsella’s Go the Distance Baseball Stories, a book I read over twenty five years ago. I decided to pour myself a tall glass of Wild Turkey Rye, think about the six homes I lived in during the last twenty five years, reflect on the personal impact of once mighty retail chain that has all but disappeared from our consumer landscape (check out my 1.21.23 post), and reread Kinsella’s short story. Although the title of the Kinsella’s book would lead you to believe it is a collection of baseball stories, it is really much more. Yes, baseball serves an important role in each story, but Kinsella uses the game as a means to address larger issues. “K Mart” is about friendship, the concept of home, the ghosts of one’s past, and how baseball connects all three through the years. There is a line from the story I underlined all those years ago that holds as true today as it did then: “Carrying the leaden ball of what-might-have-been deep within us is not a punishment but a lesson.”

There are some homes I can return to, others I can’t. Some I want to return to, others I don’t. The same can be said for those ghosts (people and events) from my past that float in my periphery, always there but just out of sight. This line from Kinsella’s baseball story serves as a reminder that home (whatever definition you chose to use) is always with us.

-K-

“The Beauty of Bourbon”

Walker Percy on Bourbon

You don’t need a reason to drink Bourbon, and nobody should ask you to provide an excuse for wanting to drink Bourbon on a Wednesday afternoon. But if you do find yourself wanting reasons and/or feeling pressured to provide excuses may I suggest “Bourbon” by Walker Percy. Percy’s essay discusses the beauty of a shot of Bourbon.

As the first line of the Percy’s essay sates, “Bourbon” is not written by an expert (so the know it all whiskey snobs out there can go elsewhere). Instead, Percy provides us with an overview of the beauty of Bourbon and the benefits of knocking back a shot. These aesthetic benefits range from enjoying the taste to dealing with the “…anomie of the late twentieth century…” (and several points in between). Percy also provides us with several examples of how Bourbon played a variety of roles in his life. These examples provide those of us who imbibe Bourbon an opportunity to reflect about the various roles Bourbon plays in our lives.

Percy’s examples got me thinking about some of my own experiences with Bourbon. I remember my Pops buying a few jars of moonshine in Harlan County decades ago (I wonder what Percy would have thought of the taste). I think of canoe and camping trips with a bottle in my backpack, of weddings and funerals with flasks being passed around. Bourbon played an important and unique role in each of these and many other memories. If you put each of Percy’s aesthetic benefits in a checklist, I would be able to tick each box. If you enjoy an occasional (or frequent) shot then Walker Percy’s essay about the beauty and benefits of Bourbon is for you. And if anybody asks for a reason or excuse for why you enjoy that shot paraphrase Percy and let him or her know the effect of the shot is secondary to the joy of the shot.

-K-

“Bourbon” from Signposts in a Strange Land by Walker Percy

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