Some Thoughts on Getting By

How to Measure Success?

All too often we feel the need to measure, evaluate, and/or judge our current position in life. We wonder if we are falling behind, coming out ahead, or maybe we’re just getting by. Wherever we find ourselves in life it is almost always compared to some other place or position we think (or others have convinced to think) we should be or wish to be in order to be succesful. With all this in mind I decided the next topic of conversation will be getting by.

“Road Block”

Getting by can and does refer to many different things varying from one’s mental state to job/economic status and a whole bunch more. It’s usually just used to reference that general place and time in life where we are but not necessarily where we wish to be. For some getting by is a layover of sorts, a temporary state of being. For others getting by is the final stop, a way of life.

Getting by has become a way to measure where we feel we are in life. It is also a way to measure ourselves against some sort of definition of success (a definition that is often not of our making). Let’s take a closer look at getting by, what it means, and how it reflects our views of self and others.

-K-

Emotional Exile

Slighted, Snubbed, and Shunned

Have you ever been at a table with friends at the local pub or chatting online and they talk over or around you as if you weren’t there? Have you ever had the feeling of being slighted, snubbed, or shunned? I read somewhere (a long time ago so I don’t remember the source) that the smallest minority is one person and that’s why individual rights are so important. Many people seem all to willing to unperson/cancel others these days without considering that individuals have rights (even if it is a right to be a fool), but it’s truly sad when unpsersoning occurs among friends.

Being unpersoned doesn’t have to be a public or political affair. It can happen among friends drinking a few pints at the local pub or on one of the many (so damn many) social media sights that crowd the interwebs. Say the wrong thing, make an improper comment, or have an unpopular opinion and you’ll find yourself exiled to drinking alone or watching a conversation scroll along without you. Once unpersoned those who were friends will slight your comments, snub your views, and possibly shun your presence, and this is often done without a thought to individual rights.

“Empty Chicken Shack”

When individuals are quick to turn on friends and willingly unperson/cancel them for comments made or views held it gives one pause to think about how they would treat people they don’t know. Sometimes we should and need to remove a peer from our circle of friends, but before committing somebody to emotional exile maybe we should ask if in doing so are we considering that person’s rights (because we would want the same consideration).

-K-

Prohibition(s) and the State

It’s Ultimately Access

The State (with the capital ‘S’) loves its prohibitions (both the lower case ‘p’ and the upper case ‘P’). Once the State finishes telling us what we can’t do it’s up to the individual citizen to figure out what he/she is allowed to do. Keep in mind, that State wants you to believe all that you are allowed do is due to the good graces of the State. If you violate (or overlook one of many and often vague) any prohibitions you are at fault and the State is quick to respond.

“No Entry”

Prohibitions are about control, and an easy way to control people is through denying and/or allowing access. The purpose of prohibitions (in most any form) is to keep certain individuals locked out and other individuals locked in. It is the State that gets to determine which side of the door you get to live. The State should work for the citizen, but many of the State’s prohibitions work against the citizens and deny us access, opportunity, and ultimately freedom.

“Prison Door #2”

-K-

A Final Thought on Doorways

or the Odd Machinations of the Writer’s Mind

Another month is in the books. May was about doors and doorways, the literal and the symbolic. We all encounter doors throughout life. We pass through some and we are denied passage through others. It feels as if the past few months have had more than their fair share of doors. I’m going to end the month with an odd instance concerning my relationship with doors.

I have a fear of knocking on doors. I’m afraid of ringing doorbells too. Why, you ask? I don’t have clue. I don’t have any bad experiences or weird memories (my only explanation is that I’m an odd duck of sorts). I just don’t like knocking on doors, and here is on such experience to give you context.

#515 (#62-editj20.115)
“#515”

I’m at my best friend’s house. I’m standing at the back door. The back door is open so there is only the screen door, the kind where the top half of the door can be either screen or glass depending on what season it is. It’s summer so the screen is in the door. My friend and his wife are expecting me. I’m standing there looking through the screen into their house (that’s a creepy kind of sentence). I can hear the TV in the basement. And me? I don’t ring the bell. I knock so quietly I know the sound won’t be heard over the TV. I keep doing this, knocking quietly. My friend’s wife comes walking through the kitchen and sees me. I act as if I just walked up and quickly ring the bell. She says, “Wow, perfect timing.” I agree because telling her I’ve been outside knocking for over a minute would put me in the running for the mayor of Crazy Town.

What’s the moral of the story (beyond now knowing that I’m a bit odd)?  It’s not the fear as much as it is how I deal with it that I want to share. The fear of knocking on doors has never left, but I deal with it by texting people when I arrive. No more knocking on doors when all I need to do is send a text. So, what’s the moral? If you can’t through a door then try a window (or maybe a text).

-K-

The Dilemma of Locked Doors

or A Rambling Metaphor

Ever bust your ass to get to a door only to find it locked? Ever find out that the key you thought would open a door isn’t the right one? I’m speaking about doors as metaphors, but some doors just can’t be opened.

We hustle and grind only to find doors locked because of who we are or what we’ve done. Keys to these doors are given to a select few. If you aren’t the right kind of person with the correct opinions no keys will be given to you. The requirements for being the right kind of person and the list of correct opinions are conveniently listed on the inside of the door. There are also doors that don’t open with the keys we’ve struggled so hard to earn. Those who guard the doors can change the requirements for the right kind of person and the list of correct opinions one must have at will by changing the locks. This leaves us with useless keys.

Second Floor Door (#157-edit)
“Second Floor Door”

Life presents us with numerous doors. We can pass through most of them with hard work. But some doors remain locked no matter how hard we work because we aren’t the right kind of person or we have incorrect opinions according those who guard the doors. So what’s a person to do? I’ve found it’s useless to try to be the right kind of person or to change opinions (unfortunately I found this out after spending way too much time trying to be the right kind of person and changing my opinions). I suggest that we kook for the doors that open for the odd, the outcasts, the rounders, and the ramblers.

-K-

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑