Month: February 2020

Kevin Smith’s Relationship Advice

Chasing Amy as Romance for Realists

This post isn’t about Clerks. Someday there will be a post about Kevin Smith’s Clerks but today is not that day, but if I didn’t watch Clerks then I probably wouldn’t have sought out Chasing Amy. February is drawing to a close this week so now is the time to have a brief discussion about Chasing Amy, the first ‘relationship’ movie I saw that I could really identify with (although there is some interesting relationship advice in Clerks worth discussing at a later date). Some elements of Smith’s 1997 movie may be a bit dated but the core message of the movie holds true today and is worth a viewing.

Chasing Amy 2
Chasing Amy

Much like Clerks which has the ability to speak to those of us who have worked in retail Chasing Amy speaks to those of us who have been in complicated relationships (complicated is a cliché word but using a word like problematic is putting a dime word in a penny sentence). You don’t need to be in the same romantic relationship as Ben Affleck’s Holden McNeil to empathize with his situation. If you have ever allowed friends, or those who call themselves friends, to guide your relationship decisions then you can relate to Chasing Amy. If you have ever allowed preconceived notions and feelings of inadequacy whisper in your ear then you can relate to Chasing Amy. If you never allowed these things to sway your relationship decisions then this movie can give you an idea of how the rest of us muddle through life love.

Chasing Amy is a realistic portrayal of two people trying to work through their issues and develop a meaningful relationship. It is a movie that speaks to any of us who have struggled with similar issues. The movie may have some 90s vibes in it but Smith’s story is still relevant and worth a view.

-K-

Chasing Amy (1997) with Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, and Jason Lee. Written and directed by Kevin Smith.

Authors on Relationships

Six Bits of Wisdom on Relationships

• “I measured love by the extent of my jealousy.” -Graham Greene-

• “Why did God make women so beautiful and man with such a loving heart?” -Walker Percy-

• “Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” -Sylvia Plath

Minolta DSC
“The Start of Something”

• “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” -Ernest Hemingway-

• “I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.” -Edna St. Vincent Milay-

• “It’s no good pretending any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.” -Nick Hornby-

-K-

Valentine’s Day Wishes

What Did You Wish For Today?

A day dedicated to relationships gives us cause to reflect (whether we want to or not). Today is a day we reflect on past relationships, evaluate current relationships, and ponder the viability of future relationships. Today is also a day bound up with wishes.

I Wish (P60-edit)
“I Wish”

We can’t help but wish for a thing or two on a day like today (we may not want to admit it, but we do). We may wish that a past relationship went in a different direction or maybe could be erased from history. Maybe we wish a current relationship could be something different (today is an awful day to be “just friends” with somebody). Finally, we may wish we could shake that Magic 8 Ball and see what our current relationship status will be with that special someone.

Valentine’s may be a day of chocolates, roses, and fancy dinners but it is also a day of wishes. Wishes are not bad things, but like most things they can be dangerous. Work toward fulfilling your wishes, but don’t let those wishes become your master.

-K-

Desire, Jealousy, Love

and The End of Things

What is your relationship success rate? If you’ve experienced the end of a relationship (one that wasn’t ended by you), then Suicide Blonde and The End of the Affair may cover some familiar ground. If you’ve never been in a relationship that ended poorly, then these books can give you insight into the lives of the rest of us. The narrators of these books offer views of the end of their relationships (don’t consider that a spoiler if you haven’t paid attention to the titles of the books).

The End of the Affair
The End of the Affair by Graham Greene

These books, written 40 years apart, address desire, jealousy, love, and how all three overlap in a relationship. From the first to the last sentences (the first and last sentences of both books are quite memorable) we are privy to the relationship woes of Jesse from Suicide Blonde and Bendrix from The End of the Affair. Darcy Steinke and Graham Greene draw us in with believable characters we may not like at times but can definitely empathize with.

Suicide Blonde
Suicide Blonde by Darcey Steinke

Not every relationship has a happy ending. Suicide Blonde and The End of the Affair are stories of two not so happy endings. Steinke and Greene show us some relationships are tragic, but tragedy is part of life, as are relationships.

-K-

The End of the Affair (1951) by Graham Greene

Suicide Blonde (1992) by Darcey Steinke

Relationships Gone Wrong: The Mix Tape

1. “My Good Gal”–Old Crow Medicine Show
2. “Delia’s Gone”–Johnny Cash
3. “Murder My Baby”–Cedell Davis
4. “Killing Him”–Amy LaVere
5. “Hey Joe”–Jimi Hendrix

Candy and Dagger #1 (D5300-editj23.08)
“Heart and Dagger”

6. “Sweet Blood Call” Louisiana Red
7. “Love & Mumbly Peg”–Samuel James
8. “Blood on the Bible”–Fat Man Squeeze
9. “’97 Bonnie & Clyde”–Tori Amos
10. “Pretty Little One” Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers featuring Edie Brickell

-K-

Words Concerning Valentine’s Day

Are You Prepared to Square off with Cupid?

February has arrived with its vast array of candies, roses, teddy bears, and other romantic gestures in various shades of pink. Whether you are in a relationship, seeking a relationship, or are advocate of the anti-relationship you can’t approach this month without a plan. Now is the time to prepare yourself for Cupid’s arrival.

Love Shrine #3 v2 (D5300-editj23.08)
“For Erzulie”

You may believe in love or you may not, but February is dedicated to love and relationships. What better way to address all those physical manifestations of love crowding the shelves of the local big box than by making something of your own? You can call it a shrine or an altar. You may decide to carry a talisman or a charm. You may make it as an offering for love or as a plea to keep love at bay. The important thing is that you are prepared.

February, the month of love, is here. Are you prepared to welcome Cupid’s arrow (or maybe you’re planning on shooting the sum bitch first)? Remember, this is a leap year so you have an extra day to wonder and worry about relationships.

-K-